Friday, June 28, 2013

Let's Be Real

I've got LOTS of things going on in my little life right now.  Lots of good things, lots of fun things, stressful things, scary things, emotional things...LOTS of everythings.  I'm so thankful for all of it because it will help me grow.  However, I'm so ready for some of it to just be over. 

I love all my friends and family that are ever so supportive and helpful.  I'm not sure I'd have made it through some things without them.  And goodness do they all help me have some super fun times.  A 3 day weekend in Ruidoso watching the horses race and sitting in the hot tub.  Five days camping in Pagosa Springs, CO, I cannot even wait to see what adventures will come from this trip.

However, I'm struggling on daily basis to get through the other parts of life.  Apparently taking Physics and Accounting during a summer semester while still trying to work full time and enjoy the summer was a bad idea.  Holy homework!  It's been crazy.

And speaking of work...it's been soooo slow.  I know that is to be expected since we are not bidding work and all of our work is being completed.  I mean that is to be expected when the company is closing the doors but I'm not sure how to react.  I've been here working for the same people with (mostly) the same people for 15 years.  I know nothing different.  I've not interviewed for a job since I was 17!!!

I need to start the job search but I don't know when to do that.  I've told myself I'm committed to my current company until the end but no one is exactly sure when that will be.  And I cannot not have a job when this one is over.  I'm not even sure how to look for a job these days.  I'm not even sure what kind of job I want to pursue! 

This is a huge opportunity for me.  A chance to branch out and do something different, a new beginning.  But I worry, I worry that I'll fail at something new, I worry that I'll fail at doing what I currently do at a new company. 

I try to keep this positive attitude, I try to not let people see that I'm worried, stressed, confused...all of the above.  I don't want to burden them with my troubles.  But the truth is...I stay awake at night with all of these thoughts running through my mind.  It makes me sick worrying what to do. 

I guess I need to get over it and get busy looking for that chance of a lifetime job I'm hoping to find.

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